Help: I need to find the right way to respond to a common problem: The Go Make Me A Sandwich Joke(and Variations Thereof)
~So it starts like this - I’m talking to one of my oldest friends, I’m talking before I wore a bra I knew this guy. He’s straight but he’s smart and canny, funny, and progressive and best of all he and I have never, ever had any sexual chemistry of any kind - you know, the kind of relationship that is going 15 years strong and counting. Unfortunately, my dear Guy Friend has a horrible habit of making what I call Make Me a Sammich jokes.
He considers these jokes particularly hilarious. His argument is that the joke itself silly because he would never actually do that. His other point, because he’s big on freedom of expression, is “You can make fun of the very idea of something and to claim you can’t is insane.” The funny girl in me with the foul mouth who is most charmed by making people laugh wants to agree with that. The absurd is everywhere isn’t it? If you start picking and choosing what is and isn’t off-limits how are you better than the censors and blah blah blah.
The feminist in me knows that he’s fucking wrong. The problem is I don’t know how to answer him beyond “Dude, what you’re doing is wrong and is setting shit back” in a way that doesnt involve going into Tumblr and scrolling through all my ♥s to see what posts have the right information and then distill it. He doesn’t believe me and why should he? He’s a twenty-something guy. He’s never lived any of the fears women live day to day and he never saw any of the injustices we saw our mothers and sisters and aunts face and that we face ourselves.
So, what do I say? What’s the short(ish, shortish is acceptable I just have to be able to remember it if it comes up in conversation) answer to a friend who you don’t want to alienate, who is of that upper echalon privilege of middle class white cisgendered male who you also happen to love? There has to be something. I just can’t figure out what. Any answer is welcome, the more the better. I’d love links to essays and stuff so long as there are suggestions for short answers too.
I just want to know what to say so I can actually get through next time. He’s not actually an asshole, he just plays one on TV. So, I kinda need to get a way to send him some new scripts, you know?
Reblog. Drop an answer in my ask if you want to anon or not-anon respond. Anything is welcome. I really could use the help.